Cypher on Queen Elizabeth

"She looks like she needs a serious bowel movement."

Ghost Hunters

There is a god damn ghost settin' in your chair smokin' a cigarette that you can see AND smell? That's when you need to get the fuck out. Star, now you know you & me is cool, but black people don't get hauntings, okay? They just don't.
Carol Anne??? Carol Anne, it's Mommy. Can you hear me???

More Honesty From Cypher

A customer was speedin' through her social on the phone and I overheard Cypher say, "Ma'am, I'm askin' for your social security number. You know it; I don't. Slow that down for me, willya?"

Cypher's Take on Chatty Old People

"1810, you shouldn't talk so damn much. Y'know?"

Cypher Takes A Spanish Call

"Thank you for calling New Age Slavery, may I have your name please?"

"jrosñuqpnfacnéaiaudyrídcodroiqeruqyívnjbsilñfgo."

"Um, can you slow that down?"

"Sure. jrosñuqpnfacnéaiaudyrídcodroiqeruqyívnjbsilñfgo."

"Ma'am...sloooow-er pahlease."

"jrosñuqpnfacnéaiaudyrídcodroiqeruqyívnjbsilñfgo."

Release call.

Eww

Security question: What is your favorite fabric?
"Gentleman's" response: skin

Way Too Much Information

One day when the phones weren't terribly backed up here at New Age Slavery, our co-worker Franny got an interesting call. She picked up the line and before she could finish her mandatory greeting she was cut off with, "I need to put you on hold. I have to go to the bathroom before I blow up." Gross. I told Cypher this and she came back with, "Bitch, just call back. It's not like your callin' for theatre tickets." Amen to that.