Ouch.

Aurelius was telling us about a coworker who told him, "Man, this woman just called me an idiot." Aurelius laid it out and said, "The truth hurts."

Even Better Than the Real Thing

"Star, let me tell ya, I've had some good stuff, but damn...in a dream? It's better than in real life."

Cypher Gets Sassy

Leaning over the partition, my soul sister and I were chatting about some of the office hotties when Cyph turned her eyes toward her pick of litter and said, "Mmm Mmm MMM! Sean, boy, don't make me come over there and hurt you with some hard kissin' like in the 50s." Yeah, Sean, watch out cause she means it.

Cypher Takes a Mumbler

"Is that that English? Cuz you're not speakin' the King's language."
'The King's language' - where does she come up with this shit?

The Forecast Is...

Looking up the weather online, coworker Tad saw the forecast for the entire country and noticed heavy rainfall in Tennessee. He walked past our desk, paused and said, "The hillbillies are gettin' wet." That they are, my friend.

Closing Time

Scene: Cypher and her caller:
"Yes, what time do you close."
"Ma'am we are available 24/7."
"On the phones, I see. But what about the website. What time does that close?"
".........newageslavery.com closes at 7, ma'am. Have you paid your New Age Slavery bill??"

When Cyph relayed this to me I could barely speak. What time does the website close?? That's when Cypher finished it off with, "Fuckin' stoopid ass people thinkin' the damn internet has a closing time. Waste of my damn breath."

Top Gun

Cypher: "Star, you gots anything to eat over dare in yer desk?"
Star: "That's a negative, Ghost Rider."
Cypher: "Roger that, Soul Sister Number Nine."