Ew

NaaNaa: "This guy is breathing so loud, I feel like wiping my ear."

Too Good To Be True

Bradley finally came in office the other day. Louise asked how his New Year's was and he told us, "Well, me and most of my family all went to this really great bar in Philly. At like 2am we all go out trying to get cabs and my cousin can't walk cause she wore stilettos. So I let her wear my shoes and put her in a cab home. Then I walked around Philly for another hour and a half looking for a cab wearing just my socks. Some homeless guy asked me for change and I was like, 'Bro, I don't even have shoes, what makes you think I have any cash?' Yeah, it was freakin' cold out, too." I can't believe she let him go around barefoot! Our Bradley is sweet as mince pie.

Out of boredom comes...

...stupidity. When I would get bored taking calls I would often liven things up by trying out different accents or using my phone sex voice. One afternoon I answered a call in a breathy voice and then realized, "Crap, I have to keep talking like this til this stinkin' call is over." (I've never been terribly bright.) Anyway, towards the end of my call the gentleman I was speaking with said, "It must spur on a young man's testosterone to hear your voice." I couldn't resist so I said, still sexin' it up, "Sir, I'm a man." Dead silence. "Just kidding, I'm a girl!" More silence.
I soon found other ways to occupy myself during calls; like coloring in coloring books. It gets me in less trouble.

Awkwardddd....

Hugh's caller needed to verify security, so he asked, "Sir, what was the name of your first pet?" The answer? blackboy.

Laury Beth's Caller

"Alright, sir, you should be all set."
"Call me John."
Why should I call him John, this call is over?
"Okay, John, you are good to go, is there anything else I can help you with today?"
"Yeah, how about you meet me at 6."
"I'm sorry?"
"Well, you got my number right there, gimme a call when you get done at 5 and we'll get together. Talk to ya then. click."

Apparently John didn't realize that when one contacts a call center that they are rarely in the same city. John was calling from California. I'm pretty sure when Laury Beth gets done work at 5, she's not gonna make it by 6pm Cali time. What a douche.

First Car

Conversation between myself and my customer, Trish Clover of Georgia:

"For verification purposes, what was your first car?"
"A Dodge Challenger"
"Ohmigod, what year?"
"1970."
"Oooo....Ms. Clover, I think I hate you."
"I had me a purple 1970 Dodge Challenger and I remember it like it was yesterday. It was to die for - TO DIE FOR."
"Why don't you have it anymore?"
"My ex-husband wrecked it."
"That why he's the ex-husband?"
"No, I stayed with him after that. He wrecked my life a bit more before I got rid of him."
"When a man destroys your car, he's gotta go."
"I shoulda known that."
"Hindsight, right?"
"Mmmm-hmmm. You said it."

Period.

This morning's topic was on menstruation. Thankfully the menfolk were not in yet and were spared our stories of woe. Aquina was told us, "I've had Hubby buy me some pads and I told him exactly what to get and he came back with the CVS brand. I was like, 'Honey, I need the fully loaded ones! You are just asking for me to stain the furniture, ya know?' Now I take a picture of exactly what I need with his phone so he can't screw it up."