A Bit Frightening

Cypher got a call from a feller working at Texas Christian University who is in dire need of some psychological assistance. Cypher asked him what his user ID was and he responded with complete confidence, "It's serialkilluh." Well, now, that is not very Christian-like.

Another Genius on the Line

"I been on hold fer thirteen minutes! Do you know how long that is??!!" Hmm...let me think on that fer a spell...

Cypher Eastwood

Cypher overheard myself and Laury Beth discussing what our plans are for the upcoming holiday, stood up, glared at us over the cubicle wall and said, "Well, that all depends. Have you been naughty? Well, have ya...punk?" I am telling you, everything my soul sister number nine says is fuckin' hilarious.

Stupidity Continues

"May I help you with anything else?"
"Not at this time. But how late are you open?"
"We are here 24/7, sir."
"Uh-huh, and how late is that?"

"U as in urine."
"U as in underwear."

What is your favorite fabric?
"Plaid."

What is your favorite garden tool?
"Success Rice"

"I'm here on the Intro-net."

What was the name of your first pet?
"Bufferbutt the Hamster"

What is your city of birth?
"decembereleventhnineteenthirtythree"

And finally, some stupidity on my part. I tend to, more often than not, hear things incorrectly. Here are a few doosies.
They say: "Columbia University" I hear: Cornbeef University
"Lynchburg College" - "Lunchbox College"
"Lake Erie Correctional Facility" - "Elmer's Laundry Service"

True Evil

One afternoon Cypher and I were discussing a certain female in upper management here at New Age Slavery. We were hittin' below the belt with our nasty comments and got to discussin' how stank her cooch must be. Definite juvenile behavior, but we've never laid claim to be anything other than a coupla catty ass bitches. Anyway...Cypher laid me out with, "You know that she can't even douche, I reckon. Cuz that'd be just like holy water to a demon. It'd burn like hell. We be hearin' that sow hollerin' like Whitney fuckin' Houston - BOBBY!! Lord..."

Cypher on Queen Elizabeth

"She looks like she needs a serious bowel movement."

Ghost Hunters

There is a god damn ghost settin' in your chair smokin' a cigarette that you can see AND smell? That's when you need to get the fuck out. Star, now you know you & me is cool, but black people don't get hauntings, okay? They just don't.
Carol Anne??? Carol Anne, it's Mommy. Can you hear me???