Libby Can't Take It

Hitting mute on a call, Libby said to me, "It's like this person has never changed a password before...This is unreal. She just keeps saying no and a cat is crying in the background." I answered, " Are you sure it's not an echo of your own cries?" (That sounds like an 80s goth band song "The Echo of Your Own Cries".)

No Refunds

In 2013, Evan came in to work and saw Brad, who looks like Bradley Cooper and said, "You owe me for your latest film. It was bad. I paid $7 to see Hangover 3." Without missing a beat, our B.C. said, "That's it? I gotta get Fandango on the horn cuz my pictures are worth at least 12 bucks."

"Your User ID is...

TuPac7, sir. And I ain't mad at ya." Thankfully the customer found this to be amusing.

Overly Irritating Waiters

The other night after work a few of us went out for some grub and drinks. The waiter was particularly interested in Cypher and thought he would woo her by being a royal pain in the ass. Overheard by me:

"Yeah, can I get a Margarita?"
"Do you want top shelf?"
"Um, how much is that?"
"Two dollars more than a regular margarita."
"Uh-huh. And that would cost..."
"I'm not really sure."
pause....
"Well, how 'bout you find out and come back here and let me know."
"But it's only two bucks more."
"Yeah, so is it 10 and then 12 or are we lookin' at 20 and then $22 because, son, that's a big damn difference."

Then later he decided to make a suggestion:

"Hey, why don't you order the quesadillas?"
"Nah, I'm cool."
"Look, order the quesadillas and if you don't like them I'll pay for it and I'll buy ya dessert."
"Huh. Go on back to the kitchen and let me think on this for a while."

The Checkered Flag

"Hey, Cyph, only an hour and a half left!"
"Damn, Star, you sure know how to sweet talk me. Good thing we ain't in a dark room..."

A World of Veruca Salts

While discussing the ignorance of some callers, Cypher and I pondered how these same people might check out a book from the library.

"Hello, East Dystopia Library, how may I help you?"
"Yes, I'd like to check out a book."
"Um, where are you, ma'am?"
"Well, I'm at home..."
"Ma'am, you would need to come to the library if you want to check out a book."
"Well that's damn inconvenient. (click)"

Ew

NaaNaa: "This guy is breathing so loud, I feel like wiping my ear."