Callers Who Are Too Damn Old To Be Callin' Us

We love older guys and gals as much as the next kid, but why employers insist these folks use the computer is beyond comprehension. Here's what Aurelius and Cypher said should be the basis as to whether or not they should attempt to use the fancy thinkin' box:

~If you was changin' Baby Jesus' diaper.
~If your name is on the Hieroglyph wall.
~If you were part of the Civil War fightin' with Abe Lincoln.
~If you was there when they built Ellis Island & brought over Lady Liberty's torch.
~If you happen to have invented the wheel or discovered fire, then your ass needs to back the hell away from that computer.

Where's Big Sam??

"We are pickin' callers from the phone line just like pickin' cotton from the field."
"Amen, Cyph. If I's the foreman on dis plantation I's be sayin' quittin' time, y'all."

Exasperation leads to moments of genius.

This is reality. Thanks for showing up.

A Star Is Born

"Damn, these callers got some funky ass names. They need to get a Hooked On Arabic, cuz I need somebody to tell me how you spell Shabawhodingus!"