A World of Veruca Salts

While discussing the ignorance of some callers, Cypher and I pondered how these same people might check out a book from the library.

"Hello, East Dystopia Library, how may I help you?"
"Yes, I'd like to check out a book."
"Um, where are you, ma'am?"
"Well, I'm at home..."
"Ma'am, you would need to come to the library if you want to check out a book."
"Well that's damn inconvenient. (click)"

Ew

NaaNaa: "This guy is breathing so loud, I feel like wiping my ear."

Too Good To Be True

Bradley finally came in office the other day. Louise asked how his New Year's was and he told us, "Well, me and most of my family all went to this really great bar in Philly. At like 2am we all go out trying to get cabs and my cousin can't walk cause she wore stilettos. So I let her wear my shoes and put her in a cab home. Then I walked around Philly for another hour and a half looking for a cab wearing just my socks. Some homeless guy asked me for change and I was like, 'Bro, I don't even have shoes, what makes you think I have any cash?' Yeah, it was freakin' cold out, too." I can't believe she let him go around barefoot! Our Bradley is sweet as mince pie.