Awkwardddd....

Hugh's caller needed to verify security, so he asked, "Sir, what was the name of your first pet?" The answer? blackboy.

Laury Beth's Caller

"Alright, sir, you should be all set."
"Call me John."
Why should I call him John, this call is over?
"Okay, John, you are good to go, is there anything else I can help you with today?"
"Yeah, how about you meet me at 6."
"I'm sorry?"
"Well, you got my number right there, gimme a call when you get done at 5 and we'll get together. Talk to ya then. click."

Apparently John didn't realize that when one contacts a call center that they are rarely in the same city. John was calling from California. I'm pretty sure when Laury Beth gets done work at 5, she's not gonna make it by 6pm Cali time. What a douche.

First Car

Conversation between myself and my customer, Trish Clover of Georgia:

"For verification purposes, what was your first car?"
"A Dodge Challenger"
"Ohmigod, what year?"
"1970."
"Oooo....Ms. Clover, I think I hate you."
"I had me a purple 1970 Dodge Challenger and I remember it like it was yesterday. It was to die for - TO DIE FOR."
"Why don't you have it anymore?"
"My ex-husband wrecked it."
"That why he's the ex-husband?"
"No, I stayed with him after that. He wrecked my life a bit more before I got rid of him."
"When a man destroys your car, he's gotta go."
"I shoulda known that."
"Hindsight, right?"
"Mmmm-hmmm. You said it."

Period.

This morning's topic was on menstruation. Thankfully the menfolk were not in yet and were spared our stories of woe. Aquina was told us, "I've had Hubby buy me some pads and I told him exactly what to get and he came back with the CVS brand. I was like, 'Honey, I need the fully loaded ones! You are just asking for me to stain the furniture, ya know?' Now I take a picture of exactly what I need with his phone so he can't screw it up."

Take That!

We were discussing the wrath of Sandy and how everyone fared. Aside from a couple leaks, everyone in the office was safe and sound. However, the new guy, Stephen, broke up with his girlfriend on Friday. He found out that she was two-timing him with some dancer from her work. Needless to say, Stephen was pretty ticked. So he rang up this floozy and told her, "Listen, if you wanna find your dance stuff, it'll be in the trash at the end of the drive." "Stephen!" the harlot screamed, "That stuff is expensive!" His response? With zero compassion in his voice he said, "Sorry. The hurricane is comin' and I gotta downsize."

Your Mama...

Two coworkers were going back and forth with the Your Mama's So jokes. This one was dead center of hilarious:

Your Mama's so black she went to night school and got marked absent.

Rural Indeed

Customer was having connection issues and so I then inquired:
"Sir, are you in a rural area?"
"I'm in a cornfield surrounded by a bunch of Amish people."
"I see, I'll take that as a Yes."