Stupidity Continues

"May I help you with anything else?"
"Not at this time. But how late are you open?"
"We are here 24/7, sir."
"Uh-huh, and how late is that?"

"U as in urine."
"U as in underwear."

What is your favorite fabric?
"Plaid."

What is your favorite garden tool?
"Success Rice"

"I'm here on the Intro-net."

What was the name of your first pet?
"Bufferbutt the Hamster"

What is your city of birth?
"decembereleventhnineteenthirtythree"

And finally, some stupidity on my part. I tend to, more often than not, hear things incorrectly. Here are a few doosies.
They say: "Columbia University" I hear: Cornbeef University
"Lynchburg College" - "Lunchbox College"
"Lake Erie Correctional Facility" - "Elmer's Laundry Service"