A Word From Our Sponsor

Not too long ago, we had a visitor over to our side of the cube. It was none other than our fellow worker, Uncle Peaches. Peaches was goin' on about his stint in the Gulf in the 80s and how he came back a very angry and disenchanted young man. Since then, he has married and calmed down, finally able to get the reigns on some of his deep rooted issues. (like, I mean issues. Like he needs a library to store all those back issues. Currently we are seeking someone to catalog them via The Dewey Decimal System, so please apply if qualified.) Anyway...we were discussing how to handle situations that arise in our day to day wherein we become confronted with an individual who is directing their anger and hostilities towards us. Here is a short and to the point way of how to respond in a calm and healthy manner: "Well, enjoy your life. (slight pause) Cuz there's sumthin' wrong with it." Simple, yet concise.
Sidney Poitier once wrote that one must "find a positive outlet for anger or it will destroy you." It is along those very same lines that Peaches informed us that all one needs to do is recognize that the anger of the other party is unhealthy, and that it is best to not address the anger because the problem is not you, it is the way in which that individual is living their life in such a way as to fuck up your afternoon. So I give a shout out to Uncle Peaches. Thanks, man, and hey, Namaste.
Also, please take in to account that Uncle Peaches is the same man who during last year's Holiday Pollyanna, sent everyone at New Age Slavery a list of his wants: "shirts, socks, and underpants." The man actually asked for his co-workers to purchase underpants for him. And honestly, who calls them underpants anymore? I mean aside from my 85 year old grandmother. At times I feel he's too twisted for color TV.